The holy week and the holidays that follow always has a personal meaning to all and while I am not against merriment during holidays, or any day for that matter, I’d usually treat these days like a stopover at a gas station. Sure, it’s nice to travel and inch closer to a destination, but like all long trips, you just have to stretch your legs and stand still for a little bit, and usually in my case, empty a very engorged, about to explode bladder. Sure the stopover bathrooms are dirty, you should always start hoping for a ceramic bowl to shoot in, and pine scented wall to wall carpet, but then you just go, and after the anxiety and stubbornness, you’ll feel glad that you did. And this is my year’s bladder stop.
Just having this much time to think just happens to be one of the times I start looking forward, thinking of the future I usually deny and make fun of. Perhaps it is the loss of control and the feeling of dread it entails for me that keeps me from thinking what happens tomorrow, because life, in 23 glorious years has taught me that you can’t ever be prepared for anything, and somehow, someway, you will never be able to fully see or comprehend what’s coming next, and what’s going to happen to me after. But, I find it truly amazing that I find myself writing about this now, almost like surviving death itself. Though I cannot say that I came out of everything unscathed, I must say that everything that has transpired has made me become more learned. I was forced to answer, “What do you really want out of life?” And the sooner that I realized that that was a rhetorical question, the sooner I made something happen because I found that something was more important than finding answers. Finding answers is easy, deciding if they are the right answers is the difficult part, and the part you accept the answer is the tricky part. If you can’t find the answer you’re looking for, maybe you’re asking the wrong questions. Thankfully, life is not limited to 20 questions and there are no stupid questions, and the trick is to just keep asking. As a final note, you don’t learn everything from the answers or does meaning come from the questions but, the asking will always open doors, and with faith and hope, that is all you will ever need.
