Its hard to fathom how ive developed a dislike for something ive almost worshipped for the last few years of my life. I remember when I got accepted into my college academe a few years back, and I was do eager to light the lamp, to serve, to become a nurse, lately though, that lamp is on the top shelf in my closet, never used, often remembered, and soon to be forgotten. This piece is perhaps an elegy, or that syringe full of morphine that is soon to find its way through my IV.
I remember my first day as full fledged nurse, I was employed at a hospital that was prestigious in its own right. It was a first hand experience if being the new guy, it had its occasional upsides, and the more often rape by emotional vampires. Yes I had my share of screw-ups and I admit that my ineptness put me in more than one compromising situation, but I knew that this is what I had signed up for and I was not going to back down. And just to express my appreciation for everyone who showed me the ropes around the area and whom I shall be forever grateful to for all the patience and the friendship, Ate Tere, Ate Lilo, Kuya Geoff, Kuya Bernard, Kuya Darwin, Kuya Justin, Sir Zoe and Ma’am Lilian, Thank you for everything. And also a special mention to Mika, Mac, and another female staff who I wont bother remembering its O something.., id just like to say that I learned absolutely s*it from you, and you are the people who make this job a hell of a lot harder for me and I only thank God everytime im working with you that I didn’t kill any of my patients, im sorry I don’t know what to do and im a lot more sorry that you treat co-workers like that, so on a last note I have 2 things to say to you 3, I hope you are much better people outside work and I pray you treat those after me better and, F*CK YOU!, thank you for absolutely nothing.
Having said that id be lying if I said I didn’t regret leaving, I passed the license enhancing exam and I think I wouldn’t have done so if I didn’t do what I did. And thinking now, there are a lot more things I want in life that I still want to accomplish before I devote my life to nursing. In all honesty, nursing isn’t about the so called greener pasture for me, its about seeing the world in another light, and I have searched within the sterile halls, inside the emergency carts and even in every living and dying person inside the hospital. Perhaps I may have not searched enough, but I am at another crossroads and the winds guide me elsewhere. It may not be anytime soon but, when I am in the dark I may just reach into my closet and light that lamp again.
---graydarksoul---
